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So it's my first time getting married (hope the only one) but I started a new job in a foreign country where I don't know the habits in term of mini events in workplace.

I work in Germany and since I started, I've seen coworkers bring in food for birthday or child birth. I'm not sure if a wedding enter in the category of events.

I'm the kind to bring stuff to share at work, but for this kind of reason it should be a little more fancy I guess.

EDIT : I'm close to my coworkers to different levels : with some I made stuff outside the working place, some are juste really good coworkers, and some I can't remember their name :/ The company is pretty big but for what I've seen, previous events were made with only our services, circa 20 person. I'm afraid to ask my coworkers if I should do it, this way they could start thinking that I selfish or something and don't want to celebrate.

Should I have an event at work or something outside the workplace ? or nothing at all ?

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  • How close to you are your workmates, how big is the company, how many people do you intend to invite?
    – Twyxz
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:18
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    Do you have a friend at work, who has been at that employer for a while, whom you can ask? That may be the best way to get a relevant answer.
    – dwizum
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:19
  • Are you having a stag/hen do? Could you have a work's stag/hen do? eg a few steins(?) down the pub?
    – Smock
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:20
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    This is your choice whether you do it or not, Everyone will have different opinions on this and every person is going to recommend what they would do.
    – Twyxz
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:22
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    I'd just bring in a cake or something, send round an email, just to those 20, saying "Brought cake to celebrate my wedding. Heading to the pub for a couple of drinks after work if anyone would like to join me! Feel free to pass on the message"
    – Gamora
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:47

4 Answers 4

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This is a great place to apply the Golden Rule.

Seriously, if you walked into the office, saw there was cupcakes because "Cheryl finally managed to get her MBA," would you honestly think anything other than:

  • Ooh! Cupcakes!
  • Congrats, Cheryl!
  • Thanks, Cheryl!

As for the fanciness, or elaborateness, or anything like that: Don't Overthink It. You're happy! You're getting married! You're bringing in treats because you want to share that joy! Don't get bogged down into minutia of which specific treats out of some worry of how it'll be perceived. Keep it simple, and keep it a reflection of your happiness.

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Yes

I've seen coworkers bringing food for birthday or child birth

This means that your coworker are used to celebration, there would be nothing strange for you to mimic them to celebrate your wedding.

I'm the kind to bring stuff to share at work, but for this kind of reason it should be a little more fancy I guess.

Try to adhere to what's usually done by your coworkers. But don't be afraid to be a little bit fancier if it please you, just not over the top (like bringing a pièce montée when it's usual to bring croissants)

Should I make something at work or something outside the working place ? or nothing at all ?

Depending on the importance of the event for you you can do both, one or neither. Neither could be (badly) taken by your coworker and taken as a sign of you not wanting to integrate and open up to the team. Doing both may be a way to assemble different people at different time if you want to celebrate with all of them but they would not all be available at the same time.

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    I would temper this with some degree of cultural context with respect to weddings vs other celebrations. It may be the case that throwing yourself a party would be received differently (and perhaps negatively) than someone else throwing you a party. Might want to ask around and determine this first, if it's not clear.
    – dwizum
    Commented Jun 26, 2019 at 13:21
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The answer is: Whatever you feel comfortable with.
You don't know about birthdays or child being born from people who don't want/like to share this info.
If you like to tell your colleagues and give them something it's on you. Depending on part of Germany you might bring cake called Baumkuchen.
In some parts you might bring parts of wedding cakes specially for your co-workers. That itself make it fancy.

The bottom line - everything you're cool with is ok.

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Best is to just ask a coworker what is appropriate.

You say that people have brought in treats for other occasions in the past, so there is precedence. However, since you are new to the company and the country, you never know what little nuances there are to social etiquette, so it can't hurt to ask a coworker what would be appropriate. They may tell you that you need to reserve the kitchen area, or that you should make sure to have vegan options, or that as long as you bring enough to share people will be happy. When in doubt, just ask!

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