I have been working an entry level position in an R&D lab for 3 months now. This is my first job straight out of college and I have the lowest position at work. I didn't get any real training or written expectations, I was just kinda thrown into a lab and given things to do.
To spare you the details, I make small mistakes at work sometimes (coming in 30 mins early instead of an hour early like I said I would, getting in 15-20 mins late because of traffic (this happened twice total), not giving myself enough time to organize the overwhelming amount on my plate in lab at times)... but I don't think I've ever seriously messed up or did something that necessitated me being fired or let go. I actually get a lot of positive reinforcement and my supervisor, the same guy, tells me I work hard/do good work/am enthusiastic, so. I also have been working over 40 hrs the past two weeks when he's told me directly all they can expect is 40 hours, and my coworker under the same supervisor works less (one works 8-4 with 1 hr lunch break and multiple breaks in between). Other people in the department work even less (9-4, etc.).
My supervisor had a meeting with me right before the holidays and told me a bunch of really awful things about me and my performance, and when I asked him how I could improve he basically said I had to "organize myself more" -- though I don't know what that means... he didn't specify and I already DID organize myself more and fix everything he wanted this week, so I don't understand.
Some other things he said:
I'm not cut out for graduate school and he doesn't know why I'm considering it
He doesn't know if I can fix what's wrong even if I tried
That my qualifications weren't good enough for this job: "one [technical class here] and a summer research program isn't good enough/doesn't teach you enough to work this job, during your interview you must have presented yourself as more experienced or better than you actually were, you say things that don't match your actions (he partially interviewed me but wasn't the end all and I was assigned to work under him -- also this is objectively false, I have paid and unpaid experience and my job doesn't require any experience at all).
He told me I should consider quitting/finding a new career path, he said I should sit down and think about what I wanted to do because it seems I don't fit in here. He said how at my level this job will never pay well and 15 years in the future when I'm making slightly more after climbing a position or two, if I'm still the same person, which he thinks I will be, would working here really be worth it. etc. He said lots of people his age want to be in my position at my age and have the chance to figure something new for themselves.
When I informed him the reason I choose to come in at 9 is because I have a disability and mornings are hard for me (and the company knows I have a disability, I put it on my application), he said two things in response to this: 1) "Well you're in your first 6 months so we can fire you for any reason whatsoever" and 2) "Whatever personal problems you have going on in your life, which clearly there are problems, you need to sort out as soon as possible and not let them bleed into your work life"
When I told him I've been working 9 to 9.5 hour work days he said in response that it's "normal" and I should be expected to do that and more (which is a problem because once I'm hourly I will HAVE to work only 40 hours a week or else HE will get in trouble too)
He also jokes around in front of my coworkers about my work ethic: at lunch with my group I mentioned how this senior guy who came to evaluate my project looked at my Linkedin and one of my coworkers said "he was probably wondering how you got hired" and my supervisor said "he was probably like 'oh the place has gone downhill since she started working there'" -- other people such as his boss have made similar jokes about him working me too hard or me not enjoying my work so I feel as if he has been talking to people about me behind my back about me. Which makes sense because, to my face, he called our VP's executive assistant a b**** and constantly makes fun of her to my coworkers.
Meanwhile he said all of this right before break when everyone had already gone home for the holidays hours before, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do to improve or change my behavior. I don't know if it's because I'm the only girl on the team or what because none of the guys get this kind of flack from him. I have specific examples of his weird/controlling behavior towards me and only me, I'll post one just to show you:
I had to submit something the day the tests were being run for the first time, so I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to come in early to get it in but I talked to my coworker. He told me to email the girl who runs the tests and let her know I would be coming in early to get the compound in before she started it.
So I did that because I was told I could ask him for advice on stuff and I thought it was fine.
So she comes and tells me in lab in front of my supervisor that she got my email and wouldn't be starting it until the afternoon anyway, so I didn't need to worry about coming in early. To which my supervisor got really mad and basically blew up at me saying "don't go behind my back/outside of our little circle to bother other people, you just didn't want to come in early" to which I was like "but [coworker] suggested it so I thought it was okay" (not trying to rat him out, just genuinely confused). And he was like "well you don't report to [coworker] you report to me, so in the future ask me before you do literally anything. And I'm going to talk to [coworker] about giving you advice like that."
So I came in a little later on him scolding [coworker] about giving me bad advice... so I apologized to my coworker and he was like "I've never seen [supervisor] act that way before, it shouldn't be such a big deal, but just ask him before you do anything in the future I guess"
How do I deal with this behavior and how can I try to salvage my job?