315
votes
Accepted
My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
He's counting on you to avoid confrontation. And you feel that saying something more forcefully will make things uncomfortable and be rude. But here's the thing: he's already being rude, and things ...
- 46.9k
239
votes
I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?
It sounds like she was uncomfortable with what happened. However, if putting a hand on her shoulder was the limit of your behaviour, you should be ok.
There are 3 reasons to not send an email.
It ...
- 14.5k
215
votes
Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?
Just say:
No, thanks. But good luck!
That's it! You do not owe an explanation, nor is an explanation going to help. You just open yourself up to counter-arguments.
No, thanks.
- 11.3k
189
votes
I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?
Do NOT create a paper trail when there is no paper trail.
By doing so, you will be creating an issue where there is none.
If she talks to you about it, say that you're sorry and didn't mean to be ...
- 3,118
185
votes
Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?
Be firm and polite, but above all else don't explain yourself!
In this situation explanations invite argument and risk hurt feelings. Avoiding them is best. Instead simply state your policy in an ...
- 7,496
146
votes
My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
Firstly, write down every instance of unwanted attention in a log and date it. This is for if it goes really bad, you want a record so you can litigate.
Involve HR. Tell them that you are recieving ...
- 6,095
131
votes
How to handle unwanted attention from "fans" in the workplace?
Tell him one last time to stop doing that. Be firm and straight, don't beat around the bush. Don't get involved in any discussions.
If he continues doing it go straight to HR and let them handle it.
...
- 3,189
116
votes
What would be the next step to handling pranks from coworkers?
If you're not participating in the pranks, and you're being targeted by them, and you've expressed that you don't want to be a part of this, then this is harassment. Go to HR. Corporate HR will be ...
- 3,355
108
votes
I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?
Apologizing is probably appropriate. But your apology plan is not. Here's why:
it's too easy for you and too intrusive on her. You fire off an email asking to set up a call. What if she doesn't want ...
- 153k
104
votes
My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
I think you will probably end up leaving this job. But perhaps try a few last-ditch things:
give this person a loud clear NO every time. "Please don't touch me." "No, and please don't ask again, it's ...
- 153k
97
votes
CEO ridiculed me with gay jokes and grabbed me and wouldn't let go - now getting pushed out of company
You need a lawyer
What you have experienced is sexual harassment. You are being further victimized by having your career damaged by this person. You need a lawyer
HR will not be your friend here. ...
- 6,736
81
votes
I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?
Pretend it never happened, and deny any ulterior motives if asked. She may be uncomfortable around you in the future, but just act professionally. You made your move and it was rejected, leave it at ...
- 224k
77
votes
My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
So I was reading this question, nodding along. Thinking "that sounds quite annoying, but not too serious".
Then you gave the specific example at the end and I was frankly shocked. That wasn't a bit ...
- 4,222
68
votes
Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?
You have already tried politeness. Politeness has failed. Now is the time for clarity. You must give the clearest answer you can. The best way to do that is to use a magic word:
No.
There are three ...
- 4,864
63
votes
Dealing with mean or racist remark from a colleague
When I read the comment, I did not take it as mean or racist. I took it as someone who felt comfortable enough to tell you that your daughter is beautiful while poking fun at you.
- 2,731
60
votes
How to deal with colleague making fun of my decisions
From what you described, to me it looks like you're facing workplace harassment or bullying. It might be a mild version, but nevertheless this is an act of unfriendliness, unkindness and active ...
- 73.8k
55
votes
Physical assault in the workplace
It seems like a somewhat obvious answer here should be to notify your manager, as well as HR, immediately.
This kind of behavior is unacceptable in most workplaces, and of course if you're not okay ...
- 8,827
50
votes
Should I tell my manager about a passive-aggressive employee?
Sounds like an unhappy individual taking their frustrations out on you. Or maybe they're just hazing the new person to assert some inane power dynamic. You're going to run into people like this ...
- 12k
46
votes
Coworkers assume I have certain political positions
That is very sad.
Ask HR (or better your CEO) to send out a company wide e-mail that STRONGLY states that this is harassments and totally unacceptable. It targets a completely innocent person that has ...
- 128k
45
votes
Does being told you're not liked and asked to quit meet the legal definition of harassment under the UK Equality Act of 2010?
I'm Canadian, we have similar laws but not identical.
This is something that needs to be addressed by your company HR department. That behaviour is unacceptable and cannot be condoned.
That being ...
- 461
44
votes
My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
I just want to add something to the useful answers here: since you are the quiet type and dislike confrontation, I suggest that you practice telling (NOT yelling) him to stop at home, best in front of ...
- 2,757
43
votes
Physical assault in the workplace
As a Russian software engineer, I would like to comment from the perspective of a local.
This is unacceptable.
Laws don't always work the way they should in this country, so I wouldn't be surprised ...
- 1,183
42
votes
Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?
What you did is a mistake. Psychologically, if you give people hope they will try harder. It would have been much more polite to say the first time you were approached "there is no way I will sign for ...
- 170k
42
votes
Dealing with mean or racist remark from a colleague
"Thank God, she doesn't look like you"
Where I'm from, this is a pretty common joke to aim at new fathers, especially fathers of daughters. This sounds like a regional/cultural issue: they ...
- 11.7k
41
votes
Company director looking at my screen, made negative remark about my performance; how can I handle this?
One of the directors (I don't know who) must have looked at my screen
for a prolonged time while he was having a meeting and then complained
to my manager that I am not doing enough work.
You got ...
- 35.8k
39
votes
How can I deal with my coworker having zero social awareness?
Every time he starts talking to you in a way that is offensive, shut him down.
If he makes a comment about your body or clothes: "Please don't comment on my body."
If he starts talking politics: "I ...
- 46.9k
39
votes
Accepted
If a coworker is mean to me, and I do not want to talk to them, is it harassment for me not to talk to them?
Refusing to talk is not normally a form of harassment
Harassment requires you to engage - what you are doing is the opposite.
There are some grey areas you need to watch out for. Your behaviour might ...
- 3,195
39
votes
Responding to political doxxing
If you know and feel you have done
nothing wrong
nothing that violates company policies
nothing that violates ethics in general sense
Nothing to worry.
Don't jump into the conclusion before you get ...
- 73.8k
36
votes
Should I tell my manager about a passive-aggressive employee?
Many years ago I ran into exactly the same situation. I had worked as a software developer for about 8 years and moved to a new company. A developer who had been there many years clearly was annoyed ...
- 5,293
34
votes
Company director looking at my screen, made negative remark about my performance; how can I handle this?
You're 100% in the wrong
Even if you claim it's natural, no director is going to expect that you're doing private things on work PCs during work hours.
It may be natural to do this sort of thing (in ...
- 6,060
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible