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315 votes
Accepted

My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me

He's counting on you to avoid confrontation. And you feel that saying something more forcefully will make things uncomfortable and be rude. But here's the thing: he's already being rude, and things ...
thursdaysgeek's user avatar
239 votes

I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?

It sounds like she was uncomfortable with what happened. However, if putting a hand on her shoulder was the limit of your behaviour, you should be ok. There are 3 reasons to not send an email. It ...
JohnHC's user avatar
  • 14.5k
215 votes

Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?

Just say: No, thanks. But good luck! That's it! You do not owe an explanation, nor is an explanation going to help. You just open yourself up to counter-arguments. No, thanks.
Lightness Races in Orbit's user avatar
214 votes

Colleague commenting negatively on my look

At first she usually put it as a joke, but lately, she started openly insulting me in front of other colleagues with "just shave that, you look terribly" etc. Thats not okay. You need to push ...
Magisch's user avatar
  • 23.4k
189 votes

I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?

Do NOT create a paper trail when there is no paper trail. By doing so, you will be creating an issue where there is none. If she talks to you about it, say that you're sorry and didn't mean to be ...
Konerak's user avatar
  • 3,118
185 votes

Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?

Be firm and polite, but above all else don't explain yourself! In this situation explanations invite argument and risk hurt feelings. Avoiding them is best. Instead simply state your policy in an ...
bob's user avatar
  • 7,003
146 votes

My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me

Firstly, write down every instance of unwanted attention in a log and date it. This is for if it goes really bad, you want a record so you can litigate. Involve HR. Tell them that you are recieving ...
Stian's user avatar
  • 6,096
131 votes

How to handle unwanted attention from "fans" in the workplace?

Tell him one last time to stop doing that. Be firm and straight, don't beat around the bush. Don't get involved in any discussions. If he continues doing it go straight to HR and let them handle it. ...
Simon's user avatar
  • 3,189
116 votes

What would be the next step to handling pranks from coworkers?

If you're not participating in the pranks, and you're being targeted by them, and you've expressed that you don't want to be a part of this, then this is harassment. Go to HR. Corporate HR will be ...
Jack Gifford's user avatar
  • 3,365
108 votes

I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?

Apologizing is probably appropriate. But your apology plan is not. Here's why: it's too easy for you and too intrusive on her. You fire off an email asking to set up a call. What if she doesn't want ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
104 votes

My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me

I think you will probably end up leaving this job. But perhaps try a few last-ditch things: give this person a loud clear NO every time. "Please don't touch me." "No, and please don't ask again, it's ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
97 votes

CEO ridiculed me with gay jokes and grabbed me and wouldn't let go - now getting pushed out of company

You need a lawyer What you have experienced is sexual harassment. You are being further victimized by having your career damaged by this person. You need a lawyer HR will not be your friend here. ...
Malisbad's user avatar
  • 6,726
92 votes
Accepted

Colleague commenting negatively on my look

I looked pretty much like you describe for a couple of years. I think some people openly disliking it is probably normal (I was also accused of trying to grab attention) and with that kind of ...
Nobody's user avatar
  • 1,077
81 votes

I messed up at the company party, got too drunk, flirted inappropriately. How do I make this better?

Pretend it never happened, and deny any ulterior motives if asked. She may be uncomfortable around you in the future, but just act professionally. You made your move and it was rejected, leave it at ...
Kilisi's user avatar
  • 222k
78 votes

Colleague commenting negatively on my look

This is harrasment. I am quite a direct sort of person. Whenever she starts this behavior I would simply state that since I am not ordering her around on how to look, she should not do the same to me....
Jeremy's user avatar
  • 2,612
77 votes

My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me

So I was reading this question, nodding along. Thinking "that sounds quite annoying, but not too serious". Then you gave the specific example at the end and I was frankly shocked. That wasn't a bit ...
Tim B's user avatar
  • 4,222
68 votes

Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?

You have already tried politeness. Politeness has failed. Now is the time for clarity. You must give the clearest answer you can. The best way to do that is to use a magic word: No. There are three ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 4,854
63 votes

Dealing with mean or racist remark from a colleague

When I read the comment, I did not take it as mean or racist. I took it as someone who felt comfortable enough to tell you that your daughter is beautiful while poking fun at you.
DiligentWorker25's user avatar
60 votes

How to deal with colleague making fun of my decisions

From what you described, to me it looks like you're facing workplace harassment or bullying. It might be a mild version, but nevertheless this is an act of unfriendliness, unkindness and active ...
Sourav Ghosh's user avatar
56 votes

Physical assault in the workplace

It seems like a somewhat obvious answer here should be to notify your manager, as well as HR, immediately. This kind of behavior is unacceptable in most workplaces, and of course if you're not okay ...
schizoid04's user avatar
  • 8,837
50 votes

Should I tell my manager about a passive-aggressive employee?

Sounds like an unhappy individual taking their frustrations out on you. Or maybe they're just hazing the new person to assert some inane power dynamic. You're going to run into people like this ...
Seth R's user avatar
  • 12k
46 votes

Coworkers assume I have certain political positions

That is very sad. Ask HR (or better your CEO) to send out a company wide e-mail that STRONGLY states that this is harassments and totally unacceptable. It targets a completely innocent person that has ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 124k
45 votes

Does being told you're not liked and asked to quit meet the legal definition of harassment under the UK Equality Act of 2010?

I'm Canadian, we have similar laws but not identical. This is something that needs to be addressed by your company HR department. That behaviour is unacceptable and cannot be condoned. That being ...
Victor Procure's user avatar
44 votes

My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me

I just want to add something to the useful answers here: since you are the quiet type and dislike confrontation, I suggest that you practice telling (NOT yelling) him to stop at home, best in front of ...
Purrrple's user avatar
  • 2,677
43 votes

Physical assault in the workplace

As a Russian software engineer, I would like to comment from the perspective of a local. This is unacceptable. Laws don't always work the way they should in this country, so I wouldn't be surprised ...
Greenmachine's user avatar
  • 1,183
42 votes

Dealing with boss and his request to (male) employees including myself, how to handle this right?

"Just show up in your pants next Friday from 9am or else you're not gonna be paid a cent. Got it?" Well, that's sexual harrassment, no doubt about that. If you want to be nice, call his wife, tell ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 169k
42 votes

Coworker is trying to get me to sign his petition to run for office. How to decline politely?

What you did is a mistake. Psychologically, if you give people hope they will try harder. It would have been much more polite to say the first time you were approached "there is no way I will sign for ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 169k
42 votes

Dealing with mean or racist remark from a colleague

"Thank God, she doesn't look like you" Where I'm from, this is a pretty common joke to aim at new fathers, especially fathers of daughters. This sounds like a regional/cultural issue: they ...
BSMP's user avatar
  • 11.7k
41 votes

Company director looking at my screen, made negative remark about my performance; how can I handle this?

One of the directors (I don't know who) must have looked at my screen for a prolonged time while he was having a meeting and then complained to my manager that I am not doing enough work. You got ...
Aida Paul's user avatar
  • 35.8k
39 votes

How can I deal with my coworker having zero social awareness?

Every time he starts talking to you in a way that is offensive, shut him down. If he makes a comment about your body or clothes: "Please don't comment on my body." If he starts talking politics: "I ...
thursdaysgeek's user avatar

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