Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.
211

You have several separate issues here: you can't get the information you need from documentation or any way other than talking to this abrasive person the person you have to ask objects to being asked, and does so in a way that makes you feel bad the person's behaviour (demeaning you) is out of sync with their expressed beliefs (wishing there were more ...


141

As someone who has first hand experience working with her, I'd think your input would both be desired and, as an employee of the company with first-hand knowledge, I do think you have an obligation to share what you know. (emphasis there for a reason) With caveats - Your professional assessment of her technical capabilities is relevant and fair. Your ...


139

I would suggest being forward on your first interview / CV stage and state that XXX has a personal grudge against you and you don`t want to get in to the details due to being non-confrontational person etc. State that your previous in-company move was due to him hounding you. This way you would move whatever he says about your from professional to ...


135

What ever you do, do not talk to her bosses in any way, shape, or form. It is entirely inappropriate for a parent to talk to the bosses of an adult in anything except to inform them about an emergency such as a hospitalization. You need to stay out of her work life. She needs to ask them what they mean by consequences and I would bet money that they mean ...


129

Ask for a meeting with your boss. In the meeting say you wish to discuss why you didn't get a raise as you are unclear. Hopefully he mentions that you are not working hard enough (the reason he gave before. That Stacy was working hard(er than you) is a reason that Stacy got a raise, not a reason you did not. You want him to say, directly or indirectly, ...


88

Your boss is abusive. Don't fall for the "many business contacts" trick, that's just an abusive attempt at keeping you from leaving and/or keeping you afraid of reporting his sexual discrimination. No employer will listen to him, there is not even any good social circumstances where he could possibly bring up the subject. And he won't do it anyway since his ...


83

I understand your anger and frustration. Let's discuss your issue: 1. You made a mistake by confronting them You played right into their hands. How did you end up in that situation? By letting your emotions get the better of you. Don't do that again. Your words radiate anger - you have to let that go. You're dealing with mean, petty, conniving people. If ...


77

You are promised your old job back, so there’s no risk. Since you are in London, the appropriate answer to the question “when will this be done” if it’s none of his business is “none of your ****ing business”. If you had said your original answer, the proper reply would have been “bugger off”. If you don’t like being rude, start with payback. When you ...


71

Assuming that you exhausted all forms of resolving this between you two - I would advise to speak with your direct line-manager first. He is the person that is actually responsible for your work and your well-being. If you feel bullied or otherwise undervalued you should signal this to him, and he will suggest the appropriate solution to your particular ...


68

Even a slight pat on the ass with a smile is pushing it. Grabbed then slapped hard is way over the bounds in my opinion. What you can only hope is that she realized it was wrong and should apologize. Give her a day to apologize. After a day tell her you felt it was inappropriate. If she does not apologize then take it to HR. Don't argue with her - what ...


62

A few thoughts: Last Friday a friend of mind from the company I have had an absolutely fantastic interview last week, after which I received super short rejection email, told me everyone approved me, but last week they received an email from my current boss telling them not to hire me, because "I am conflicting" and "will certainly cause problems". You ...


60

This is her fight First, before anything else. I will back up @HLGEM's stance. This is her battle, and an important one for future interviews where she's asked "What was a point of conflict in jobs past and how did you handle it?" Your job here is to be supportive of whatever choice she makes and act as her advisor to help steer her towards good choices. ...


60

Your colleague will continue like this so long as you let him. If he really has no authority over you, there is nothing wrong with pointing that out once he crosses the line. After all, if he isn't your boss, there is nothing wrong with a little quote-unquote 'insubordination': HIM: "Why are you doing it that way?" YOU: "Because it works." HIM: "When are ...


53

If you take a step back and read what you have written with objective mind. There are issues with your contract You are doing more hours/work than you are allowed to You receive payments in cash And when you bring up any of these topics your boss will divert the discussion and turn it to be about you. This is pretty obvious strategy to obfuscate and ...


53

I think the real problem here is that your boss knows you are looking for employment elsewhere, and also seems to know with whom and when you are interviewing for jobs. How is he getting this information? If you can block his access to this information, he can't run interference on your job hunting. If the industry is so small that this is not feasible, you ...


51

Talk to him privately Hey Bob, I know you're just trying to have some fun when you {...}, but I find it really distracting and it makes it hard to get my work done. Would you be able to chill with that a bit? You may want to rephrase that last part a bit if you want him to cut it out completely. You can follow this up with long sad / disappointing looks ...


49

I would complain to his manager but he is apparently just as bad, if not worse that my new manager. If this is confirmed knowledge rather than hearsay, it means that abusive behaviour is tolerated at multiple levels in this company. And that means it's a fundamentally toxic workplace. I hear there may be some job opportunities opening up in another ...


46

This is not blackmail. If it were this manager would imply a direct threat to you for choosing not to comply with his wishes. Blackmail requires the person to hold a threat over you. This manager simply sounds pushy and persuasive. You are likely complying with him and telling him what he/she wants to hear because you are afraid of conflict. Simply ...


46

I'm Canadian, we have similar laws but not identical. This is something that needs to be addressed by your company HR department. That behaviour is unacceptable and cannot be condoned. That being said, I'd also start looking for another job. You've probably done nothing wrong to warrant this behavior by others, so this may seem unfair. However, a company ...


45

When the boss told you about "no raise", that's when you should have spoken up. Told him that a lot of "her" work is actually your work and so on and so on. You can still make an appointment with your boss. Be well prepared. If someone tries to push you under the train, it is your duty (to yourself and to the company) to push them. It's probably best not ...


44

First you say this: I need to ask the senior developer questions about what the server expects and every time I ask this person a question or ask about a possible server-side bug the man rips my head off. He gets extremely agitated and says stuff like “You’re knowledge of this or that…” and shakes his head. I just started so how would I know ...


43

Note: Edits made in light of OP update. I'll be blunt: you made a mistake by trying to justify your behavior. You're an adult who may choose to spend your money in any way you like. There's really two aspects to this situation. 1. (I still maintain that) Shopping Is Not a Work Activity I understand that there's certain circumstances which require you to ...


42

"Just show up in your pants next Friday from 9am or else you're not gonna be paid a cent. Got it?" Well, that's sexual harrassment, no doubt about that. If you want to be nice, call his wife, tell her what is happening, and maybe she can get him under control. That would be the best possible outcome. The Mathemagician may be correct with his comment, that ...


40

Most important, I want to focus on this comment in your question: I need to ask the senior developer questions about what the server expects and every time I ask this person a question or ask about a possible server-side bug the man rips my head off. I added the bold because you need to realize that this is essentially you, a junior person, ...


40

I don't see how you could possibly be "legally" required to note your concerns. Those would be your opinion and I doubt any legal system would require you to give it. Morally, if you feel there is an issue with her professionalism and ability, you should voice your concerns during the interview process. You shouldn't just ignore your first-hand experience ...


40

Since your are located in Brazil, let's crack the issue down from a brazilian point of view. Brazilian law does not automatically place burden of a crime on the criminal's relatives. Since theft is a crime that needs to be reported to be prosecuted only the sibling can to come under investigation. Frank cannot be blamed for his relative's actions until the ...


39

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." If you're not happy directly confronting this kind of behaviour, which is understandable, then bring it to the attention of management, anonymously if you need to. Step up and support your coworkers; don't just sit back and say "I'm alright, it's not happening to me."


39

Regardless of the reasons, drunk or sober, serious or joking, male or female; this kind of behavior is completely inappropriate. Most developed countries have sexual harassment legislation of some kind, speak to a lawyer in your area, and then contact your company's human resources person. Behavior like this should be flatly intolerable and the idea that ...


36

In situations like this, I just assume the person is on drugs and I move on. This is out of control behaviour, waste of time trying to work out why. Brush up your CV and start job hunting before someone goes off the deep end.


36

Don’t know the Swedish law. In other countries you could sue the boss for defamation, and the new company would be asked by the court what exactly they were told (and not giving everything that was said would be a criminal offence). Contact a lawyer.


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