144 votes

How do I politely coexist with a help vampire?

So... how can I change this unproductive behavior of mine? +1 for recognizing that your own behavior is part of the problem. I'm genuinely trying to help my coworker help themselves That's the ...
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  • 90.7k
124 votes
Accepted

How to politely stop a colleague's rude remarks about the way I sip alcohol?

What was said to you was completely inappropriate and unprofessional. It doesn't matter if it was "for fun" or not, it shouldn't have been said. In my opinion, you would have been well ...
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94 votes

Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?

I am the team lead of a team of ten. One of my team members in the past has undergone counseling due to alcohol abuse / excessive drinking. Let's reframe this a little: you have at least one team ...
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54 votes

Should I let my coworkers know I can understand their language and risk further alienating them?

It depends if you care or not. I'm fluent in the language here and hear nasty stuff all the time but couldn't care less usually unless they're talking about my wife or kids or positioning themselves ...
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  • 200k
39 votes
Accepted

Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?

I used to be on a team where one of the team members had a certain medical condition. One or two people knew about it but as a general rule, they made a point to keep it completely confidential. ...
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  • 4,315
38 votes

How can I protect myself from a sexual predator at work?

As both a woman and a manager, I have a LOT of concerns about how your manager is handling this situation. They shouldn't be warning a teenager to stay away from a(n alleged) sexual predator, they ...
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  • 2,378
27 votes

How do I politely coexist with a help vampire?

So your mission is to help the other team succeed, but a member of that team needs far more help than normal, and is still just barely scraping by, and you are frustrated that the situation is not ...
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  • 4,595
25 votes

Should I let my coworkers know I can understand their language and risk further alienating them?

You are not being treated like a team member. I would question whether it's appropriate that your team mates have a private meeting without you at all, let alone one where they make insulting jokes ...
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23 votes

How to politely stop a colleague's rude remarks about the way I sip alcohol?

This colleague was totally unprofessional and in the wrong - this isn't really disputable. So, my question is what do you want to have happen? Do you want to reinforce professional boundaries with ...
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  • 355
22 votes

Manager is trying to force me to communicate

I am an apprentice at my company So you need to do as requested, at least minimally. You don't typically get to do things your way as an apprentice. All you need to do is be polite. You don't have ...
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  • 200k
20 votes

Etiquette concerning food that has gone bad in fridges at work

Unfortunately their are a surprising amount of idiots who cannot behave like adults and keep track of their own food. Setting rules and posting guideline doesn't help. The idiots will simply ignore ...
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  • 90.7k
20 votes

Car share price

He's been doing you a favour, and he gets to decide how much (if anything) he wants to charge you. The fact that you're saying he's "demanding" you do things suggests that you don't really ...
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  • 10.3k
18 votes
Accepted

Should I let my coworkers know I can understand their language and risk further alienating them?

If it bothers you to occasionally hear gossip about yourself right in your face, by all means speak up about it. However if you think it's amusing, interesting and/or useful to hear what is said about ...
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  • 10.6k
17 votes

Should I let my coworkers know I can understand their language and risk further alienating them?

I speak two languages and so do many of my friends. We get situations like this all the time. People make assumptions which they should not. You can tell them when it is convenient for you and then ...
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  • 16.7k
14 votes

How to deal with a resisting collegue as a newcomer

Sorry for falling into stereotypes, but who knows, sometimes they are true. You said you have a new job in germany and the name you chose here implies that you might come from a different culture. ...
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  • 113k
13 votes

Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?

From a company perspective there really is no way to get it right. A restaurant will serve everybody, but you really cannot find one with no alcohol, no pork, no beef, no meat, no seafood, no gluten......
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  • 113k
13 votes

How can I protect myself from a sexual predator at work?

Your manager has told you not to be alone with him. Setting aside the fact that your manager shouldn't employ someone who can't be trusted not to attack other employees, you can ask your manager to ...
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13 votes

How to deal with team members who are slow to respond to my messages?

How to deal with team members who are slow to respond to my messages? If you have a truly urgent question, that not having the answer is blocking you from doing your work, you ask the person who ...
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  • 66.5k
12 votes

Car share price

Well, find out what a taxi or Uber/Lyft would charge you for the same ride. Just as an example, when we were still working in the office, I took a colleague in the evening. He literally lived on my ...
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  • 113k
11 votes

Turning down meeting in the office

How can I turn it down so that it doesn't come across as rude or burn bridges? You probably can't. You need to make a decision whether it's more important to you to maintain good relations with the ...
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11 votes

How to respond to this email w/o blaming my former boss?

For the webinar: You tell that manager exactly what you know, because that's the only thing you know. Your colleague might have agreed with your former boss to change the time and that may have got ...
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  • 153k
11 votes

How to politely stop a colleague's rude remarks about the way I sip alcohol?

Much of humor can be seen as a form of countersignaling. The message of kidding around with someone is “I'm so secure in our relationship that I feel comfortable engaging in humorous mocking”. In this ...
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11 votes

How can I protect myself from a sexual predator at work?

The fact that an older man has a 17 year old girlfriend does not make him a predator. It's legal enough in Australia. So I would take this information with a grain of salt and wonder why the manager ...
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  • 200k
10 votes

Coworker just went on a loud sexist rant right next to me

I'm not a lady, but I recommend attracting his attention, and asking him to do his personal phone calls in a place where he isn't disturbing the entire office. The good thing about this strategy that ...
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  • 4,595
10 votes
Accepted

Coworker just went on a loud sexist rant right next to me

Report it to HR If you overheard him say "women always tear each other down" or "wives are hysterical" in the office, you should report that to HR. It doesn't matter that he was on ...
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  • 4,474
9 votes

How do I politely coexist with a help vampire?

So... how can I change this unproductive behavior of mine? Learning to coach others is a valuable skill. If someone's coming to you with a problem, is your first instinct to resolve the problem, or ...
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  • 1,842
8 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a resisting collegue as a newcomer

I have seen this happening way too often unfortunately. Sometimes ignoring is one way to show power over another. Of course, there could be other reasons in your colleague's case. Things I can suggest ...
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  • 17.6k
8 votes

How to politely stop a colleague's rude remarks about the way I sip alcohol?

What was said to you was not appropriate and unprofessional. Unfortunatelly in life we are going to share spaces with people like that. This is exact that caricature ignorant guy that thinks he is ...
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8 votes

Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?

If I were you, I would probably not ask him for his comfort level of drinking as I don't know if he would feel comfortable or uneasy with that question. However, I would suggest that maybe, you would ...
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8 votes

Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?

I was a raging alcoholic and drug addict, but have now been sober for 10 years. I also now work in a company with a strong drinking culture. We have monthly events during work hours where alcohol is ...
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