Hot answers tagged

277

I was wondering if this is a safe topic of conversation in a one to one meeting with my team lead. This behavior is an acceptable topic, jumping to conclusion as to the cause isn't. I would come at it along the lines of: Hey boss. I've noticed lately that when I present technical info about the project you always confirm it with Adam or Bob yet when ...


247

I would ensure that a meeting room is available for these interviews. Perhaps bump people out of meeting rooms as they could rearrange/or use the lounge. I would do this also because an interviewee is also deciding if they want to work for you. It looks very unprofessional to have a meeting in essentially a break room.


232

I'm a female developer with 10 years' experience (despite my name here:)) and unfortunately this is a familiar situation. I think gnasher729's answer is excellent. There's no reason to assume it's a gender issue, but on the other hand, you are being paid less than a junior you are training, which is simply not acceptable. The only thing I'd add to ...


214

Do as you're doing; call the time period by a phrase that you're comfortable with. Maybe even use the role title - so instead of a job being x man hours, it would be 'x' hours, made up of 'y' developer hours and 'z' analyst hours.


202

Could you raise it to your manager? (Assuming that someone sits at a level between you & the exec, e.g. a head of engineering) A few months in the door & at a junior level, it makes sense that you don't want to push back to the person on the board. You could simply ask them for a word & say something like: The other day, X from the exec ...


190

Don't chastise anyone for using "man-hours", it's an ingrained part of traditional English usage. Continue to use "person-hours" whenever possible. The laughing will eventually subside. Attitudes and language often change together, and always change slowly. The best metaphor for your efforts should be: orthodontists do not straighten teeth with a hammer.


171

A long long time ago when I first entered the professional work place I had swimsuit models as my desktop background. I honestly didn’t think anything of it as it was similar to what you'd see on the cover of a sports illustrated magazine. One day my manager came by my desk and said: “You might want to change your background to something else.” Simple, to ...


146

There is no reason to assume that the pay raise didn't arrive because you are a woman, but there are the facts that (a) you didn't get a pay rise, (b) you make less than a junior that you are training, and (c) you are a woman. So you go to your boss, you tell him the fact that you were promised a pay rise, you didn't get it and make less than a junior, and ...


141

Your friend is overthinking this way too much. This is a "highly skilled and ambitious software engineer?" - I think they can figure out the bathrooms for themselves. I think if there are "general announcements" about "Geek Girls" events, this person can decide for themselves if they want to attend. I've worked with a few people over the years who ...


136

You have a couple of options. Firstly to quit immediately, and perhaps even relocate to somewhere that condones such an attitude towards women. Legally speaking generally in Western societies that's about the only recourse you have. Your undoubtably admirable and steadfast religious convictions are unfortunately totally at odds with Western mores and social ...


119

This answer is based on the assumption that these "guys' nights out" are completely a private social gathering and not affiliated with the company at all. It is the right of every person to get to hang out with who they want after work. If they choose to do an all guys group, that is their deal. Whatever may appear sexist, racist, whatever group someone ...


119

First, your new boss was correct in not allowing you to provide feedback on the candidate: you chose not to interview her, so what reason/justification do you have to comment on her professional qualifications? None! Heck, you've pretty much admitted that you won't even consider her qualifications: you're just going to advise against hiring her on the basis ...


111

facilities staff is stretched too thin Does your company not have a room booking solution? If so, just print out a piece of paper with text "Room blocked from time X to Y on date Z for interviews". And paste it outside a decent meeting room in advance. When you need the room, just ask the people to vacate. I work at a very large company that is well ...


110

I disagree with all the answers saying to treat them just like male colleagues. Treat them with the respect that is inherent in your cultural values. I work with many women. I don't treat them the same as male colleagues. I am much more careful with my language around them, and I make a conscious effort not to argue in the same way or act threatening. In ...


96

You need a lawyer What you have experienced is sexual harassment. You are being further victimized by having your career damaged by this person. You need a lawyer HR will not be your friend here. They will do their best to protect the company, and as a male, you will have great difficulty going forward. You need a lawyer Everything you have done before, ...


89

You cannot automatically attribute that to sexism. Possibly he simply does not trust you and the other two parties are male. Or he is doing it to challenge / engage the other parties. Even if it is favoritism you don't know it is based on sexism. You would need a sample set with many women and many men to show a bias was based on sex. If you feel like ...


87

I prefer that my team members treat me like the individual that I am, and not as "the woman". Hold me to the same standards, and expect that I'm motivated by similar things as everyone else (recognition, a fair wage, good working conditions). Yes, there are a couple of things that you can and should do for any member of your team. Pay attention and call ...


87

I think you should mention your name change in the resume or something like John Doe (Formerly Known as Jane Doe). I understand the risk of possible discrimination but if your potential employer is discriminating type, they will discriminate at any stage once they find out (and that can happen even AFTER you get that job). You will save yourself great ...


84

It is unfortunate that your original boss made a promise that the company cannot legally keep. Women are employed at almost all employers. If you want to remain in the US, you need to accept that your career prospects are severely reduced of you cannot work with women. If the office goes from having no women to having women, then you will need to move on. ...


79

"Man hours" is a unit for an amount of work done, measured in such a way that (a) it's easy to determine how many units a person can do in a week, and (b) it's easy to determine the cost of the people doing the work. So yes, you do produce "man hours" of work. You could also say that you produce "woman hours" of work, and that all the men in your team ...


78

The other answers are also valid, but none have mentioned this idea yet: When tasked with an admin task from an exec, try one of the following responses Sure, I can do that, but can you clear it with my manager, <manager's name>, first so they know what I'm working on Sure, I can do that, but it will mean stopping work on <engineering task> ...


66

Just try to be "normal" as you are with your male friends or neighbors etc. DO not try to shy away. Speak with them casually , informally as friends. In about 2-3 weeks you will start feeling comfortable with them. in about 3-4 months , you will forget about all your shyness. Relax and do not put any pressure on yourself.


66

If a person changes their name from "Jake" to "Richard" then they expect to be called "Richard" from then on. If you insist on calling this person "Jake" because he's just "a Jake pretending to be a Richard" then that would be considered quite rude. You may not understand the reasons for the name change or think they're silly, but it's their name. Not yours....


65

I'm a bigender person, and I was browsing Stack Overflow when I saw this. It is 100% okay to ask a person their pronouns, and it would be disrespectful to not ask and end up using the wrong ones. The bigender community, while very small, is exceedingly diverse, and many say that no two bigender people can agree on the exact definition of of bigender. ...


64

Additionally, all of them seem so confident and like they never make mistakes and are always on top of everything which is extremely intimidating... Certainly you know this isn't the case though? This might be a difference in the culture of your old country and your new one. Often (especially for geeks), this sort of projected expertise is a coping ...


64

Several things you can do and not do: Don't tolerate disrespectful talk. Whether it's "yeah, women, can't live with 'em, can't stab them to death amirite?" or "You've gotta make it so your girlfriend can understand it" someone needs to say "not cool" every time Don't ask the new person what they need to feel accepted. It gets so tiring representing your ...


62

My feelings on this are colored by the fact that I am female and spent years traveling with male colleagues and very frequently in the early years of my career got taken off of career enhancing projects because some men (or their wives) were uncomfortable. So let me put this as politely as I can. You are acting in a chauvinistic manner. If you don't want to ...


61

How should I respond to this? You should tell her that you referred to the male doctor the way you did because he has never introduced himself using his first name. You should tell her that you meant absolutely no gender bias at all, but if she would prefer, you would be glad to refer to her as Doctor as well rather than using her first name. Some (in ...


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