New answers tagged

3

The same work environment as for anyone else, because Myers-Briggs type indicators have little to none scientific validity. They tell you about as much about yourself as horoscopes or those "What Harry Potter character are you?" quizzes you encounter on Facebook. You might want to analyze for yourself what problems you actually have with your ...


0

"Do you still remember when you were 'that junior member of the team?'" "Your mentors," at that time, probably never let 'their true feelings' show, sometimes. They simply and silently helped you reach the position where you are now. Therefore, now that you(!) are the mentor to many of these people ... remember that.


0

I see the problem here. Your title is simply Developer or Software Engineer which I assume is the junior rank. Because of your many years of service, you consider yourself a senior but don't have the title to show for it and your attempts at a promotion to a better title have been rejected. The other juniors simply see you as a other junior because of the ...


-2

The top rated answers here are asking to change who you are. In summary they say "You are socially submissive, you are craven/cowardly, you should assert yourself to gain the appropriate level and quality of interaction in the company." This is wrong This is extraordinarily bad advice and life guidance. It is always healthy to try and understand ...


2

I'm going to support the OP's instinct: Quitting currently seems the best option. I agree. The whole situation sounds toxic and corrosive. You've been in the current position for an entire year and apparently found no traction or way to improve things. Once habits & expectations are set for this long, it's very unlikely that you'll be able to break out ...


5

For example, instead of telling me "Please import the files into the system in the pdf directory", they would call and tell me to share my screen and would say "Please click here, then click here, now expand this plus sign, unarchive that zip file I prepared...". This has happened multiple times. My first reaction to this was to think &...


3

It might sound hard to hear, reading through your question it does sound like you are your own worst enemy in your current position. Off the bat I would be careful using the term overqualified when discussing your perceived skills. While you might have technical skills that exceed what is required, but do you possess the other personal competencies needed ...


16

This situation does not require conflict. It requires humanity. You don't need to argue or oppress anyone. You need to talk to them as humans. They're people, and you're automatically assuming negative intent when they simply may not be aware because by your own admission in this question you're too craven to speak up. You're indicating you're a senior ...


9

Stand Up for Yourself For example, instead of telling me "Please import the files into the system in the pdf directory", they would call and tell me to share my screen and would say "Please click here, then click here, now expand this plus sign, unarchive that zip file I prepared...". This has happened multiple times. This will continue ...


0

this is his problem It's best to ignore anything that could create a potential conflict. Any further action could also be misunderstood. Let the coworker deal with it.


6

How to deal with condescending behaviour from coworkers when I am overqualified for the job? Like any other issue you control it by focusing on the work not the people. It's just a mental shift that needs to be made. Eventually some people realise you already know a lot and stop trying to spoon feed you, but realistically it's harmless stuff that just doesn'...


4

Well... plenty of reasons why your coworker is upset. Bringing up "issues" in a project is always a criticism of what the person working on it before did. You don't criticize someone in front of their boss, without talking to them first. You were assigned to help your coworker with their project. Instead of doing that, you assigned them a task. ...


4

I don't agree at all with the perspective that the manager is shoddy or incompetent - s/he is empathetic enough to consider the other colleague has a 2 year kid and is kindly willing to temporarily give that person some leeway. Your manager is asking you to extend similar consideration for your colleague (which you may also need one day from someone else at ...


4

I'm going to take a somewhat different viewpoint here, because I've been in the role of the colleague who is doing the support. In some cases I'd be bombarded with questions about problems and error messages. Each message would require getting information about exactly what the input was and the working thru the system to determine what was going on. What ...


0

You've recognized that your behavior is problematic, which is already a good first step. The obvious next step would be to change your behavior, but that can be easier said than done. In the heat of the moment we often forget what behaviors we intended to change and fall back into our old patterns. But what you can do is to act as soon as you come to the ...


38

The real answer here is that if you have been diagnosed, you have to talk to a professional that is qualified to help you. Don't take speculations/opinions of stackexchange crowd as an answer. Seek professional help.


8

I have autism/Aspergers, so I carry with me the "apparent lack of empathy" The book "How to win friends and influence people", by Dale Carnegie, was a God send to me, it it might help you learn how to cope with your NPD. To sum up the key points: Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a person's name is to ...


-5

Whenever you have an issue that impacts on your ability to work the best thing to do is find work that makes it an advantage rather than a disadvantage. So view it as an asset and find something suitable.


2

First of all (assuming that you have been officially diagnosed), a therapist/professional in that field can provide therapy and also guide you along and help you improve how you 'operate' amongst other individuals - at the workplace as well as in your private/social life. I'am not a specialist in that field, but since you asked: "Should I just keep my ...


2

Workplace safety rules should be pretty clear on how much lifting can be expected from employees, and how much lifting your insurance will allow, depending on available tools and instruction on their use. Since I have an office job, those numbers are pretty low for me, IIRC around 10 kg is part of my job duties, and up to 25 kg is allowed provided I wear ...


5

The thing is, whoever is doing this job is being paid to do the job. If the job takes 2 people, but 3 people are assigned to it, because 1 of those people is not effective at doing the job (for any reason, physical, mental, emotional), then, simply put, the company is spending money ineffectively, by paying an extra person who doesn't need to be there (...


1

You might be proactive and ask around if any of your co-workers would be willing to help out. Someone who loves going to the gym, not a little 5'2" lady.


0

The only aspect not covered by zmike's answer is if there is some specific part of your role that would benefit from having an office; for instance you work in HR and are constantly having conversations/calls that require confidentiality or your day is almost constant external meetings. In that case you could raise it with your manager and the company night ...


5

An office is more coveted than a cubicle or a desk in an open office. Nobody will trade with you even if you ask nicely. Best case scenario is that they'll politely tell you no, but more likely they will be offended by your audacity and/or you'll be laughed out of their office. Your best course of action would be to ask your boss if you can get the next ...


1

It wasn't even that it was heavy, it was more about balancing it. It isn't your place to speculate about her physical capability based on your assessment of what is, and what is not, heavy. In fact, it isn't your place to speculate about or judge her physical capability at all. Simply tell the manager that the task requires more than two people. It's then ...


2

The comments clarify that this was setting up a sales presentation. In many such cases, there are professional people available to be hired for such tasks. In many vendor packets for shows, they give contact information for hiring the right people for unloading and setting up the booths. This is a situation where the sales people do not have the physical ...


33

Analyse the task beforehand. If there is heavy lifting involved ask for more help from the manager citing previous issues getting it accomplished. She kept telling the manager that 2 people wasn't enough to do the job She knows her own limitations, and she gave fair warning in my opinion. Next time she does that I suggest you back her up.


6

Do the hallway nod: Subtle nod or smile to your co-worker to acknowledge their presence, but don't wait long for them to return it just continue minding your business.


1

Do you need to say hello again or is it ok to just keep walking? It's fine to just keep walking. There's no obligation to say the first 'Hello' although it's polite to.


0

Inhaling sharpie vapors can have serious health consequences. Considering how mild and lame a Sharpie-induced high tends to be, the negatives are potentially shockingly serious. Perhaps you might share the link below with your coworker anonymously. I would limit my involvement to that. If he has a drug problem, that's his supervisor's job to deal with. https:...


6

Let it go. What this coworker chooses to do with their body is their business, not yours. If this employee is as important to the company as you imply, I would talk to your supervisor....not to mention or talk about this specific employee in any way, but to ask to be cross-trained in the work that all of your coworkers are doing. If the supervisor doesn't ...


-2

I am quite appalled with the many discouraging answers that suggest that you should not do this out of some fear of "backfire" or "inappropriateness". People forget that what they fear is what they do not understand, and that seems like kindness. I see this as more of a cultural issue rather than any actual deterministic objective ...


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