New answers tagged

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How to deal with an abusive boss The best way is to leave the company, but if you would like to stick it out then there are some things that you can try. First off, let them know that they are being abusive. If the boss starts yelling at you, you need to immediately tell him something like: Please speak to me in a normal tone of voice, your yelling is not ...


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Alison, at Ask A Manager always has good advice, such as this one: Bosses who yell. While considering what she has written (don't take it personally; others recognize it is happening; talking to the boss; escalating it), I recommend two additional strategies as part of that. Document it when he yells and the negative consequences. That will be useful when ...


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"A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still" If your boss doesn't care, then no amount of begging, pleading, or cajoling will get anywhere with him, and even if you could force a change, it wouldn't turn out well for you, as you'd create a scheming bad boss, instead of just a bad boss. Your best bet would be to quantify the cost ...


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The prospect of having to regularly confront my attacker leaves me filled with rage and dread. My goal is to not have a terrible fight / flight panic engage every time I see Bill at work. This whole situation is clearly getting under your skin. With everything else that's going on in the world right now, I would urge you to take good care of yourself and ...


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Most of what you describe only happens in bad TV shows and it's neither logical nor consistent. You are clearly upset so it's possible that you misread the situation. Try to find a trusted peer or colleague and have your assessment fact checked. If your assessment is mostly correct: find a new job as soon as possible If your assessment is mostly incorrect: ...


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To avoid the sea of comments...there is unfortunately too much to unpack in your post, allegations on top of allegations, untrustworthinesses and hearsay all compounded with conspiracy, anger and abuse. It appears to be that the OP is being affected by a manager, or rather the manager has gained the trust of the OP to a point and is now gaslighting the ...


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Based on what you wrote, I have the following opinion: if your colleague is really doing the stuff you claim he is doing, that is bad; however, you do not seem to have much proof for your claims; there is a lot of improvement room for your professional behavior. makes cuts to my bonus pay without me knowing So he is a kind of a manager, not a simple ...


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Once the messages came up on the screen that you could read, right then and there you should have said something. "hey guys, I can see what you're writing. I was asked a question so I'm answering it. Do you want me to stop?" And then you should have just stopped talking and let them talk/apologize/ignore what they wrote and pretend it didn't happen/...


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OP, you do need to quit this job. But not for the reason you think. It has nothing to do with this scenario, but it has to do with you as a person. You are not cut out for being in the workforce. Please leave the workforce and do not return. Get married, find a spouse with a good job, who can baby you and coddle you and support you so you don't have to ...


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I work in HR, and I can tell you this is NOT considered harassment, bullying or definitely not a hostile environment (I really wish people would look up what that means before coming to me to accuse people of it). Another poster suggested 'dropping' your accusation with HR, but I'll tell you that isn't possible. Once we know, we know and we need to follow ...


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Okay, I will start with the obligatory: HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! What Bill did was a but unprofessional and a bit immature. However, your response was an overreaction of the first order. In your question, you stated that this was a one-off event, and not part of a pattern. Additionally, he apologized. Instead of accepting the apology, you went to HR and ...


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I agree with the other answers here, with regards to this particular incident. Bill was in the wrong, but it was only a small indiscretion and he apologised promptly, directly and (in as much as you haven't said anything to the contrary) sincerely. You over-reacted and are now also in the wrong, and you should address that. HOWEVER... One thing that I would ...


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I'll go a bit further than the other answers here and say... you're the bad guy in this situation. Bill did something stupid. He was trying to vent about a meeting going too long, and did so in a manner that he didn't realize was accidentally public. Everyone laughed - and chances are, they were laughing at Bill doing something that stupid. I can ...


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I agree with most of the other answers, but not with their tones. As someone who also has "thin skin," I don't think you should be condemned or berated for it; it's okay to be offended, you feel how you feel. I do think you should have reacted much differently, and you really ought to forgive Bill. Sure he's not the nicest person, but I find most ...


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Unfortunately based on what you wrote, you were not 'hazed, bullied' or attacked. Here are some examples of them: A superior yelling and berating a staff in the middle of the office in front of everyone. Multiple times. Being ignored and denied details, then blamed for it later. Intentional sabotage. Bill inviting everyone for drinks out, excluding just you. ...


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Life becomes much better when you don’t take things personally This has happened to me, although instead it was someone who just forgot to mute their mic and was talking to themselves. I just promised to be brief and that was the end of it. Bill is not an attacker. Bill is someone who was frustrated about a meeting dragging on (as they often do for no real ...


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Did Bill really bully me and create a hostile environment or am I just being too sensitive? Bill was being immature and unprofessional. If you disagree with what's being said then say that in a calm and respectful matter. You don't say: "We get it already!" "Shut Up!" Sometimes people lose their civility at work. I even slipped up ...


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Did Bill really bully me and create a hostile environment No. Reasonable people won't agree that sending a chat message to one person about you that is accidentally viewed by several others was intentional or directed at you. am I just being too sensitive? You are you. Your feelings are real. All I can say is that I would have reacted differently based on ...


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The short form is that you need to grow a thicker skin and get over it. Yes, Bill was being an idiot. It doesn't seem like he intended those messages for you, which doesn't make them right but also means he wasn't trying to attack you directly. It's fine to bring that to HR, though you might have started with your manager. You could not have, since he ...


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I'm sorry to say that whether this is a hostile environment is ambiguous based on this one incident you described. We don't know the personalities and histories of these characters. Bullying, however, I doubt because the negative interactions were accidental. However, the "howling laughter" from everyone worries me. It suggests, perhaps, that they ...


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This was a private communication between Bill and Sue and you only saw it because she was sharing her screen. Have you ever made such a comment like that yourself to someone else privately? Now did he do it on purpose, knowing that you would see it? Short of a confession from Bill, that's an impossible thing to say. But either way, having filed a complaint ...


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