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You seem to put too much emphasis on unverified personality/behavioural tests. You mention Myers-Briggs. From Wikipedia Myers-Briggs - Criticism: Many of the studies that endorse MBTI are methodologically weak or unscientific. That's a nice way of saying Myers-Briggs is rubbish. You also say: Some tests even suggest slight Asperger, combined with ...


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Is home office an option? I'm a dev just like you and I spend only a single day every week at the office. It works great for me in terms of productivity yet I'm still regularly available for meetings, discussion and general chat. In my particular case this arrangement had been thrown off the table as unfeasible the first time I had asked for it. It was ...


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I understand and agree with your concerns, the extrovert agenda can be really frustrating, but you also have to understand the other side as well. Culture is important in the workplace and having coworkers openly communicate and be friendly with one another is considered a positive almost universally. Some people even make a career out of being friendly to ...


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This could be me posting something similar when I had my first consulting job, though you have the benefit they are not lying to you, as they were to me. As for people hanging out talking all day around your desk (why?), in my previous job, I would tell them to go otherwise when I had critical things to attend (for instance, a big failure). Here I usually ...


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You have to change job Sorry, I know you said "no job changes advise" but there is no another option for you. This is the culture of where you are, it won't change, its much more probably that you end up fired at first lay offs and that will happen, soon or later. Such companies like that are very often inefficient and won't thrive because people just talk ...


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This answer assumes your manager is acting in good faith but there is possibly a communication issue; essentially you need to: Clarify exactly what he wants and action it appropriately, while Mitigating the personal difficulties you face. 1. Manager's Requirements Soft Skills - these are important and if your manager believes they need improving, then ...


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Studies going back to Jung and the formation of the concepts of Introversion and Extraversion describe the amount and type of energy we expend in pursuit of social goals. Introverts typically are required to expend energy when surrounded by large groups or a great deal of stimuli. As an introvert (INTJ no less) myself I use to believe this made me ...


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I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but software engineering is one of the most introverted professions. The vast majority of your colleagues you are complaining about are also introverts. So why does their behavior seem so non-introverted? Because they are adapting to their environment instead of futilely hoping for the environment to adapt to them. ...


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At the next performance review, forget that you are an introvert for a moment and complain to your boss as loud as you can. Tell him how by not accepting and accommodating you as an introvert, the workplace is exclusionary and prevents diversity. Tell him that you want your unique contributions to be respected and reflected in your ratings and in your next ...


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I hesitate to suggest this, but could you try malicious compliance? It seems like you've pretty much been told that collaborating (i.e. chatting) with colleagues whenever they want, socialising more, and getting people to talk about you is more important than the work you're doing.  So why not actually apply that, concentrating on all those things even at ...


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Your office is doing things wrong. I thought before that there is no "escape" to these wrongdoings of the usual way people work, but now I learned that specially for software development, there are some mandatory conditions that should be met to work properly. I will explain my two experiences and why I learned that. BEFORE: I worked for the IT department ...


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Regarding needing quiet time: Whenever you have a problem, stating "solving my problem requires me to do nothing and everyone around me to change" never works. Never ever, not even a little. So you are already off base here. You don't have to blast music into your head to reduce noise; conversely, you can get headphones with noise-cancelling features, or ...


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One thing that I like to tell people is that "A diagnosis is not a destiny" For some background, I am autistic, LD, hearing impaired, and have had a lifetime of ill health, so this is not a "toughen up, buttercup" speech from someone who hasn't lived through it himself. In fact, as a quintessential outlier myself, I heartily understand what you are going ...


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Like it or not, social or "soft" skills are more critical than you think. While I absolutely do not subscribe to the idea that a person's thought and behavior can be boiled down to a few letters, being an INTJ or an introvert does not preclude you from being a good workmate. Promotions always come with an increase in responsibility and almost universally ...


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Ironically I am the most active communicator This is in contrast with you claiming to be an introvert. Collaborating with other people is essential to success of the project, so if somebody has bad social skills it is a good reason for not promoting them. Be very honest with yourself and think again about your social skills - are they really not lacking? ...


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"We want people to chat, that's our new thing now. This is how are collaborative etc." [...] I expected him to bring this up with the relevant people so these conversations would stop Why did you expected him to make people stop if he clearly stated that this is part of new company policy? You expected him to read your mind that you are not happy with it ...


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As an introvert SE, I have my style of doing things and getting things done. Same here. But an introvert isn't a protected class, nor is it a disability, so anywhere you work isn't going to start running to make special considerations for you based on the fact you "just prefer to work in the zone". There's two angles I'd take here. Firstly, if any kind of ...


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